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Eurovision 2017 finalists in a nutshell:
Israel: Damn he hot
Poland: Boobies
Belarus: Spiritual healers
Austria: Brought to you by Dreamworks
Armenia: Heyoaheyohaye
Netherlands: Destiny’s Child
Moldova: Epic Sax Guy
Hungary: He’ll defeat the Huns
Italy: Harambe in heaven
Denmark: My ears are bleeding
Portugal: Good ol’ 1950′s
Azerbaijan: Halloween
Croatia: low budget Il Volo
Australia: Sam Smith but with more eyebrows
Greece: Worst song you’ll hear in your entire life
Spain: Lazy Song v2
Norway: Daft Punk vs Imagine Dragons vs Alan Walker
United Kingdom: Toilet break
Cyprus: Human v2
Romania: Peter and Heidi all grown up
Germany: Titanium but worse
Ukraine: In final only because they are host
Belgium: Dull song with girl about to cry
Sweden: Me going to gym after work
Bulgaria: 3 years old kid with a voice of a 35 old man
France: Puts Eiffel Tower to background in case you mistake us for China
RPDR Season Winners
Bob: Charity and movement heavy with humor and donations
Violet: High fashion editorial and aerial performer
Bianca: Stand-up comedian and soon to be film star
Jinkx: Camp cabaret style live performer
Chad: World class Cher performer as well as consitent hostess
Sharon: Musician, halloween underground queen
Raja: Fashion designer and model
Bebe: Model, singer, personality
Tyra: Sanchez
To all the confused non-Europeans
The Eurovision is a war where we try to out fab each other with bad songs.
Germany, France, Spain, UK and Italy are always already qualified for the finale before they release the song.
Estonia is freaking out
The Netherlands is looking like the only one not on drugs while pod is legal
Greece is probably singing abt alcohol
Austria always gets mixed up with Australia somehow
Talking abt Australia they are competing again this year and nobody knows why.
what actually happened on the hogwarts express in 1971 between james and sirius:
“who the fuck are you?”
“who the fuck are you?”
“i asked you first”
“i asked you second”
“i’m sirius black. cheerleader, part time model”
cmssmith